Open Eyes, Closed Mouth
by Apolymi
Summary: Being reincarnated is always a tricky thing. Really, even with prior knowledge, what are you supposed to do when you can't even roll onto your stomach? It doesn't get any better when you're born a Malfoy. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** : This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement intended.

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~.~.~ **Chapter 1**

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The spring equinox. One of the two times a year where day and night are approximately even. Where those of the older faiths celebrate the rebirth of the lands. Wild magic always runs high on this day and I firmly believe that it was what powered my transfer to this world, where skeletal horses flew and a dark lord roamed.

Backing up a bit, my name is Lyra Malfoy. I'm the first female to be born to the Malfoy line in the last several hundred years. Not only that, but despite my two very blonde parents, I was born with raven black hair and ocean blue eyes. It would seem that the blood of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black - my mother's Narcissa Malfoy's birth family - decided to run strongly in me.

Genetics was always a funny thing. Not that my father - Lucius Abraxas Malfoy - would know. It's Mudblood knowledge and he, with his Pureblood supremacist mindset, would never deign to believe anything of theirs. What's inbreeding right? No, the only thing Lucius believed that afternoon I was born was his true and utter horror.

Horror you may inquire? Yes, for you see I was the first female to be born to the Malfoy line in the last several hundred years. I can almost see the deadpan look I'm getting for restating that. So I should probably explain why that's an issue.

Daddy dearest was - for all intents and purposes - a racist. Not against skin color, gender or even sexual orientation; but against non-magical beings. He lived, breathed, ate, slept, etc., etc., the ideology that he was GOD. Or at least the second thing closest to it. Magic, compounded with a lot of galleons, multiplied by being a Noble House of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, added by his admittedly objective good looks - I was always vaguely surprised that he chose to be a follower.

Though the charisma and power that Lord Voldemort *coughTomcough* purportedly wielded was enough for Father to be swayed. That as well as Grandfather Abraxas pushing him into the service before he died of dragon pox. Well, with Lucius' being himself - nothing but being said Lord's right-hand man would be acceptable. Of course when you're the assistant to a megalomaniac bent on wholesale genocide via mass amounts of torture - is it any wonder that you'd become a little stressed?

Unfortunately, that translated to a rather tense marriage. Love was not something Lucius or Narcissa equated with. For Lucius, Narcissa was an in to an even older House than his. The increased prestige was nothing to scoff at. She was also a good mule for his heir. For Narcissa, Lucius was an ambitious young man who'd keep her in the style she was accustomed to. That they were easy on each other's eyes helped. The thing is, a marriage of convenience didn't lend itself to strong bonds.

It was as the Dark Lord slowly, but surely went insane with his torn-up soul and the war was speeding to it's inevitable climax that I was born. And boy, when he saw that full shock of black hair did he gape. Granted, not something I was in a position to notice myself at the time, but pensieves are useful things. It was when it was announced that I was not the one hundred and two percent expected male heir that he snapped. Many accusations were hurled at his wife, mostly that of infidelity. He never stopped to calmly or rationally consider the situation. For of course, I'm the first female to be born to the Malfoy line in the last several hundred years. I'll stop saying that now.

As it was a home birth, he'd ordered the mid-wife to procure any and all spells and potions to verify paternity. I'm not sure whether I should be relieved or just shake my head that she'd already had those things handy. With each successful cast and bottle, Lucius inversely became more and more disbelieving. Finally, he called a halt.

"I can't deal with this. It's just - it's just not possible!"

And so the beginning of my young life was sealed with those words.


	2. Chapter 2

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~.~.~ **Chapter 2**

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Fairly literally too, I might add. The mid-wife was sworn to a wizards' oath to never reveal my existence, unless given permission by those present. Always covering his bases, Lucius did. In his haste he never realized that included myself, but you don't see me complaining. Instead the story bandied around was magical stillbirth, as randomly a tragic thing to happen to Witches (and a few Wizards) as it were to happen to Muggles. A sealed, distant wing of the mansion was ordered open and it was there I was deposited. And then promptly forced forgotten about.

My caretaker was Sally. A surprisingly mundane name for one of the house elves. Apparently her parents were considered a little out there. We don't mention it - it's a bit of a sore subject for her. In those first few confusing days after birth, she stayed. Fed me, burped me, changed me, played with me. It's her creaky voice I first remember in my new surroundings. Though it wasn't the only thing.

It was magic. That's the only way it could be described. Otherwise, how else was I supposed to explain to myself that I remembered being in a fully functional adult body only to try to roll over onto my stomach and fail. And I did try. Quite a bit. Sally was having conniptions.

The memories were all over the place. Things like my previous name or were I may have lived was misty. The more I poked at it, the denser it got. But information such as the theory of reincarnation and the Harry Potter series were crystal clear. A little too clear. For as dearly as I loved reading Harry Potter as a child, it'd been at least ten years since I had. In the other body, in the other place.

So while Sally fussed and mussed over me, I did some mental searching. For the time being I left alone the Who-I-Was and focused on the Why-The-Fudge-Was-I-Here. Only to abruptly remember that there was a minister-to-be called Fudge. The laughter that spilled past my lips was joyously quaint, the way most babies were. Or presumably it would've been had I made any noise. It was to my shock that I realized that I couldn't speak. No matter how I twisted my tongue or flapped me lips, nary a sound came out. I think I started to have a minor panic attack and not long after I was swept up into small spindly arms. Sally cooed and rocked me until I'd calmed.

"All being well. All being good 'lil Mistress." She repeated to me over and over.

To this day I still don't know how she understood what I'd needed at that moment, but would forever be grateful.

After that little discovery I really had to find out what I could remember. It was a bit slow going. Really to all rights and purposes I shouldn't have been able to remember anything. I was a newborn with an adult's spotty memory. Neurology wasn't part of the information packet I got, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I'd somehow managed to re-wire my brain without frying it.

Well, not per say _me_ exactly as I hadn't a clue how'd I ended up in the situation. As the tangents became tangled I gave in with a sigh and went with the default answer - magic.

Satisfying myself with that I finally decided to take stock of the physical plane. Seeing Sally popping in and out was a bit disconcerting at first. The only thing I'd known of her was her voice. When she came back in a few seconds later, I had my very first real look at a house elf. Let me say, CGI has nothing on these little creatures. The absolute care she took with me was humbling.

By this time, I was wondering where I was. For that matter, I hadn't even heard my name yet. Sally was the only one I saw and she only called me "Mistress." By what little I could see, the room trappings looked rich if not sparse. The only real furniture in the room was the crib I laid in in the middle and the drawers next to the door. The walls, ceiling and floor were all a bland beige. Faced with this, I came up with a Pureblood family that were in the middle of hard times. Hah! I laugh myself into soundless stitches when I think about my first impressions.

I hadn't been coherent enough after birth to realize what was happening, trapped in that blasted mental mist as I was. Though after a week of seeing no one but Sally I had to wonder if my birth parents weren't dead. Or that Sally had kidnapped me. I wasn't sure which one I was rooting for.

I made myself as active as I could in an attempt to strengthen my body faster. This had the somewhat intended side effect of wearing me out. I spent the first few months in a routine of feeding, pooping, squirming and sleeping. Vengeance was mine when I successfully turned myself over one day. By four months I could sit-up unassisted and by five I made darn sure to skip the crawling stage and started walking. Unfortunately, I started teething not too long after. Sally had a hard time keeping up with a grumpy six-month old who constantly tried to chew everything.

Getting myself reacquainted with life took most of my concentration but I constantly wondered as to what was going on. Who was I? Where was I? Why did I have to go through the rather clichéd amnesiac questioning of self when I had a bloody entire set of another life's memory in my head? Frustrated didn't begin to cover it.

I wanted answers. Mute or not, I was going to get them.


	3. Chapter 3

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~.~.~ **Chapter 3**

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I sat in the middle of my room, idly waiting for Sally to come back from wherever she'd popped off too. Sweeping my eyes around, I cataloged the differences from seven months ago. The crib had been moved more to the side to accommodate the new furniture, which included a toy box, changing table, wardrobe, highchair, an equally high stool and bookshelf.

After those were first arranged to Sally's perfection, she'd then proceeded to snap her fingers and commit the biggest blight known to human kind. She made everything pink! The walls, the floor, the furniture, hell even the ceiling became some ghastly shade of the devil's color. I was so petrified after this I almost couldn't comprehend the blathering she went into about girls and that horrid hue. It was only after I refused to look at her or acknowledge her presence that she cottoned on to that something was wrong. It took charades to a whole new level, but I managed to get across that I did **_not_** approve. Changes were made.

I lay down, sighing in appreciation of the burgundy carpet I was now snuggling into. My eyes meandered to where the blue-grey wall made a stunning offset to the floor. The ceiling had been charmed to mimic a night and day pattern, displaying a rather brilliant sunrise and sunset, with the night showing a sparkling array of stars and the moon. At the moment, the sun was high with a few clouds languidly floating from one side to the other.

I glanced out the window as the pounding rain became even heavier. I sighed again. Magic.

It was as I was deciding if a midday nap would be acceptable that Sally made her appearance. Shaking out of my fugue, I sat back up as Sally began clucking at me. In a sweep of movement, she had me secured in the highchair as she levitated my baby food over and scrambled on top of the stool to feed me. Despite my efforts I still wasn't coordinated enough to hold and guide a spoon to my mouth. Sally humored my attempts though, always smiling and clapping undeterred by my mistakes.

It was after that daily routine that I put my "plan" into action. The irritation from my gums had finally stopped and the questions in my mind were becoming annoyingly persistent. So as soon as Sally finished cleaning, I toddled over to her and hugged her with all the strength I could muster. Predictably, Sally was ecstatic. It had been the first time I'd initiated any kind of physical contact. I'd deliberately not done so for precisely this reason. As she came close to hyperventilating, I gently tugged her over to the door. Since I'd first been brought in, that room had become my whole world. I wanted out.

With a guileless look I pointed to the handle that had thwarted my previous efforts to work and flashed her my brightest smile. The poor dear almost overloaded with happiness. So it was with a gibbering house elf I finally set out to get my answers.

My first impression was dust. Dust everywhere. I went into a sneezing fit, which brought Sally back from her dream plane. With a snap, the air became much clearer.

"Ohs dears, ohs nos. Mistress and Sally not to be out here. Ohs no." Sally said as she reached up and started twisting her ears.

As lightly as I could, I grabbed her hands. Soundlessly, I said "No" and brought them down. She looked at me uncomprehending at first, before tears pooled in her eyes. Determined to not be sidetracked, I took off toddling down the hallway, pulling her behind me. It was absolutely barren, stretching on for what seemed like forever to my stubby little legs. I passed by windows, set too high for me to truly see through, though with the rain increasing in heaviness _again_ I doubted I'd see much anyway.

Sally had settled into little mutterings of how we weren't supposed to be out here, interjected with the occasional mention of how nice Mistress is. I ignored her as I single-mindedly continued the never-ending trek down the ever-extending corridor. Well, at least it felt that way.

The fact that Sally was even muttering about permission confirmed to me that we weren't the only ones around. I had to know why it was that I'd been kept trapped in that room.

Finally, we reached a branch-off. Both the left and right looked exactly the same. I turned around to Sally and tilted my head expectedly. She looked torn, swiveling her own head back and forth. A resolute expression took hold and with great confidence, she pointed right. I smiled gently at her, then promptly went left. The defeated look she sported was rather comical. I felt a bit bad for potentially putting her into a bind. On the up-side, Sally has never tried to trick me again.

It wasn't long after that we reached the first door I'd seen since I first left my room. I took a few seconds to ponder that before deciding to figure it out later. Being too short to reach the handle (curse babyhood!) I again looked to Sally. She didn't even bother to think about it this time, simply snapping her fingers. Slowly, ever so slowly, it creaked open. My answers were on the other side; I just knew it. Flashing a grin at Sally, I took my first steps into destiny.


	4. Chapter 4

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~.~.~ **Chapter 4**

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So, ya, did I say first steps into my destiny?

More like my first steps into a _nother_ forever-stretching hallway.

After the door creaked open and I was confronted with my twisted fate of sore feet and bunions, I'd had enough. It'd been hours since I'd first set out. The rain outside had finally stopped and the beginnings of twilight was creeping through the nearest window. I was hungry, tired and cranky with a burgeoning headache, courtesy of the muttering house elf. So I did what any self-respecting seven months, reincarnated child would do.

I kicked the closest wall out of frustration.

Then I sat down and promptly burst into tears.

Sally wasn't helping. Don't get me wrong, she was trying. When I first started, she went to hold me and possibly coo. I wasn't having any of it and kept slipping out of her grip. Next, she made a quick trip to grab a few toys to distract me. As I continued to ignore her, she quickly went back for my favorite blanket and a bottle of milk. I was pretty determined to ignore those too, but then my stomach did this gurgle thing which frankly surprised me enough to pause in my crying. Sally took advantage of this and stuck the bottle in my mouth before wrapping me in the blanket.

As I begrudgingly drank it, I slowly began to calm down. I looked a bit in wonder at Sally, who was anxiously looking back at me. I was contemplating how many children Sally must've taken care of before when she asked, "Mistress doing better now?"

I nodded, which caused her to relax from the tense state she'd been in. She then reached out her hands to me and said, "Let us be going now Mistress!"

I stared. Really? I'd just walked miles equivalent to the Great Wall of China, suffered through a diabolical mental attack from a door and I hadn't even had time to finish half of my beverage. She'd need a magical crane to get me to budge. A bit overdramatic, but hey - I was hungry.

I didn't have a mirror, but I'm guessing my expression must have said it all, because Sally started giggling. The longer it went on the more indignant I became, which in turn reflected on my face and caused her to go from giggles to full out laughter. It was as I was getting ready to throw my bottle at her (I was just waiting for it to empty first) that she finally contained herself.

"No worry Mistress. Sally not make you walk again." She let out a little chuckle and held out her hands to me again.

Not in a mood to appreciate being laughed at, I dragged out the last few gulps of milk. Sally just patiently kept her hands still. Pinpricks of guilt was getting to me, so I shrugged an arm free from my blanket and grabbed on to Sally. With a quite pop, I suddenly found myself back in my room.

I gaped at the sunset spreading out on the ceiling. _What was that? Did Sally just side-apparate me?_ I asked myself. While Sally got me ready for sleep, I catalogued all the information about house-elves I could remember from the books. It was after a bedtime story (which were all new to me, so I didn't mind hearing them), when Sally left for the night and the ceiling night-lights were shining that I remembered. Dobby, the even-odder-than-Sally's-parents' elf, had done it when rescuing people from Malfoy Manor! I randomly speculated if the Malfoy's had as good furniture in their place as in mine (I cringe at that now) before a genius realization shot through me.

Sally. Could. Apparate. With. Me.

If anyone saw me that night, they would've ran. Fast and far. Because when a Malfoy finds something to take advantage of (even if they don't know they _are_ a Malfoy) you'd best hope you're not in the way. Or the thing to be taken advantage of.

I cackled myself to sleep that night. Poor Sally wouldn't know what hit her.


	5. Chapter 5

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~.~.~ **Chapter 5**

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The morning after the Walk in Hell (also known as hallways) was ecstatically cheerful. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and I had a house-elf to abu- ahem. I mean a house-elf to… require a few favors from.

I knew a charm had been placed to inform Sally of when I'd woken. In the past, that would've meant an immediate pop in and instant fussing. Thing is, in both my lives, I am not a morning person. In fact, a zombie would have had more personality. Sally had learned well enough to give me some time first. So, luckily, I had a few decent minutes to stare at said shining sun through my window before my excitement came over me and then subsequently got under control. I had to be careful not to tip my hand too early.

I started organizing the things I needed to find out. Obviously, first and foremost, was finding out who I was, especially my name. As nice a title as it was, I was becoming exceedingly tired of only being called "Mistress." Then there was finding a way to get my thoughts across. Charades only helps up to a point. Admittedly, the first two things I thought of were sign-language and pen and paper. Then I sighed, because hello? Magic.

I could not possibly be the first, magical, born mute. There had to be something I could find. With a sage nod (as much as it could be when I was lying flat on my back in a crib) I added easier communication to bullet two on my bucket list.

Before further machinations could be heeded, Sally arrived and started our daily morning ritual. As usual, she chatted throughout the whole thing. Never anything specific, just what the weather would probably be like and what fun we were going to have, playing with toys today. I don't think she realized how much she had already told me the day before, with all of her mutterings.

I patiently let her do as she wished, getting me fed and ready for the day. Finally, she sat me next to the toy box and asked, "What does Mistress want to be playing today?" She opened the box and stuck her head in. I heard her muffled voice say "Does Mistress want the blocks?" She brought out a little orange cube, barely big enough to fit in her hand. I knew that with a snap of her fingers, it'd multiply into varied sized and colored blocks. Many different pictures were printed, one on each. Touching it caused it to emit the sound or name of the pictured until it was repeated back or deactivated. It was a tool for the young to learn word associations. I usually just used it to make as loud of a sound jamboree as I could.

My first inclination was to shake my head no. But I stopped when I remembered that 26 of those blocks had the letters of the alphabet on it. It'd be a bit rough, but using those with a few of the pictured blocks would probably get across what I wanted better than another round of Guess What Waving My Arms This Way Means.

So I gave a gracious nod and watched as the air began to be filled with the blocks. Sally, already knowing my inclinations, directed them to the same area to keep them close without stacking. I was heading towards them before I hesitated. I hadn't been around babies much, so I couldn't say how normal my behavior was, but I was pretty certain that suddenly using the blocks to "talk" to Sally would be _very_ far from it. I took a peek at Sally, who was smiling cheerfully as she moved around the rest of the room, putting things into place. I took a serious second to determine how'd she react. After which I just shrugged and kept going forward. _She'll get used to it,_ I said to myself.

Arriving in front of them, I frowned down as I tried to determine what could be used. I swept my eyes back and forth, but there was no real way for me to ask the complicated questions I wanted with what was in front of me. Reluctantly, I switched the order of my bucket list. I needed the easier communication first. Thinking on it, I figured the best place to get information would be in books. Usually I would have said the web, but if I remembered correctly, electronics weren't a thing in the Wizarding world. I found the cube with a book on it, took it from the masses and set it by my side.

It started to repeat "Book" over and over again, but compared to the usual mess of noise I created, it was easily ignored. Books were usually in libraries and Pureblood families usually had libraries, so it stood to reason that there was one in the building I was in; but I didn't have multiple of the same letters, so I could only create small words. Racking my brain over it, I reached out and started rearranging as I saw fit. Idly, I flicked the off spots as I tried to make a workable sentence. In the end, I had **ME 2 LOTS Book**. I clucked my tongue; it wasn't perfect but it'd have to do.

Turning my head to see where Sally was, I nearly jumped a foot high when my nose almost smacked her face. Her eyes were wide in wonder and she apparently was trying to set the world record of longest breath held. In alarm, I started thumping her back as hard as I could. She let out a big breath, swiveled to grab my hands and then looked me straight in the eyes.

"Mistress," she said. "Sally knews you weres smart. Sally knews!" She beamed the brightest smile I ever saw on her. For a second I wanted to squint to prevent myself from being blind as well as mute before I mentally slapped myself. If Sally was in a happy mood, that meant she'd be more likely to take me where I wanted to go. So, I nodded and pointed my chin to the sentence on the ground.

She thoughtfully looked at the sentence I'd made. "Mistress wants to be going to place with lots books?" she asked. I nodded again. She gave a return nod and slightly tightened her hold on my hands. "Master and Madam both to be going out todays. Wait whiles Sally makes sure now bes good time." With a smile, she released my hands and popped out of the room.

I blinked a few times before some realizations came to me. Sally, it would seem, had known I was at least reasonably smarter than the average child. Sally herself wasn't an idiot (trust me an idiot wouldn't have been able to survive me). So how could she not have known that I was dying from some information? No matter how much she talked, I never got anything from her. No names or places or situations… The more I thought of it, the more I realized how _little_ Sally truly ever said. And that little I did have had come from some manipulation and a bit of luck. Scowling, I started pacing back and forth besides the silent blocks.

Why? Why would Sally not say anything to me? Whenever she was near me, she always smiled – except for the times I exasperated her, but those were to be expected. She was gentle and kind to me. The feeling of betrayal started to burn in my gut, but I ignored it as I tried to understand. Sally was a loyal house-elf, why would she… I stopped. _That's right_ I thought. _Sally is a house-elf. I'd somehow forgotten what that meant. She has to obey her Master. And as much as she calls me "Mistress" I know that's not me. Which means… she was ordered not to say anything to me._

It was at that time that I felt the remains of a fragile dream I hadn't realized I carried, crumble and turned into dust. I heavily fell onto my knees as the thoughts rushed through me. _Sally has to obey. She can't say anything meaningful to me. The only one who can order her is her Master. House-elves usually work out of their Master's home – hence the "house" in their names. I'm living in her Master's home. I've lived here since I was born. Most likely the Master is my parent. Wait, didn't Sally say Madam also? So that mean both my Father and Mother. They hid me away. I've been thrown out of their sight. I've been abandoned._

I'd always had the vague hope in me that I was caught in some magical trap and just finding the right way out would restore me to the "real" world where my loving family waited for me. My life would be cupcakes and rainbows after that. Unrealistic, I know, but it was a hope that was unconsciously driving me. Now, I found myself burying my face into the carpet to stem the flood of tears that had welled up.

I'd been abandoned. What was I to do now?


End file.
